Excuses
by Detective Dorian
Summary: Nick Wilde wakes up from a nightmare, and in order to take his mind off of the dream, he instead fixates on one mammal. (Zootopia Spoilers, Fluff)


Nick Wilde was sitting on his couch. Nothing unusual there, though under normal circumstances, he generally didn't stare glassy-eyed at his smartphone on his coffee table, near completely unmoving like that wax statue they were apparently making of him and his partner. Not even his tail or ears twitched from the sounds on the television. His elbows were on his knees, and his paws were clasped together tight enough that his claws were digging into his knuckles.

He'd woken up suddenly sometime after midnight from a nightmare. They happened on occasion. Usually about past things, but lately they'd been about recent events. Vague memories flashed in front of his vision; Gnashing teeth, growling, screaming, falling... Nick snorted and jerked his head back up, blinking bleary eyes. "Damn," he murmured. "Gotta stop eating blueberry doughnuts before bed." A joke, to try and ease his own tension and distract himself from the dreams and memories.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, though judging by how the television was starting to show infomercials, it had to have been a few hours. He released his fingers with some effort, parting his paws and running his claws through the fur on his scalp between his ears. Nick took in a deep, shaking breath and finally leaned back, his spine popping in several areas as he rested against the head of the couch. His head tilted back and he stared up at the mass of pipes that made up his ceiling, paws falling limply to his lap. There was one pipe directly above him that has a bead of moisture that threatened to fall at any moment, but he barely paid it any mind.

This place was a dump. But, it was _his_ dump, and it was cheap. It beat living under a bridge, though as his partner had once helpfully pointed out, not by much.

The bead of moisture fell from the pipe, landing right between his eyes, and the fox finally twitched and sat up, looking down at his phone. Leaning forward, he tapped it once. The screen lit up with the background of himself and his partner, Judy Hopps, with their cheeks pressed together and both of thier thumbs visible in the frame of the shot. He had his usual cheeky half-lidded grin, and Judy's face was threatening to split itself in half for how large her optimistic, buck-toothed smile was, violet eyes wide and bright.

 _How can I tell her?_ he asked himself for what felt like the hundredth time. _She means so much to me, has done so much_ _ **for**_ _me. Saved my life on more than one occasion,_ _ **before**_ _joining ZPD._ Nick looked up at the ZPD uniform that was on a coat hanger, freshly washed and pressed and ready for work in the morning. Even from his position on the couch, he could still smell the detergent he'd used. It smelled vaguely like lavender. _Judy smells like that sometimes. Maybe we use the same detergent._

Nick flinched as he heard his phone's alarm suddenly going off. He used the alarm on his phone, which was something he teased his partner for _not_ doing. It was more convenient that way! If the power went out, which it often did in this dump, he wouldn't have to worry about the smartphone's clock getting reset and risk being late for work. Or, well, he would be late for work, if he didn't have a backup alarm, but she wasn't due for another forty-five minutes.

The fox reached out to his coffee table, picking up his phone and tapping the snooze button on his phone's alarm clock. Judy was due in less than an hour to pick him up. "Damn," grunted the fox, leaning back again. So he'd been sitting on the couch in contemplation for... Six hours. Well, at least this time around he'd gotten _some_ amount of sleep, even if he'd done absolutely nothing productive in the meantime. On more than one occasion, he'd opened the door to Judy coming to pick him up with Nick looking not unlike a zombie with a coffee cup permanently attached to his lips.

Perhaps this time he'd look marginally _less_ like the walking dead. In the meantime, though, he had to get ready. Picking up the remote, he clicked the television off, then got to his feet. "Ugh," he grunted. He was stiff, but that wasn't really surprising.

Time to begin his morning routine.

Nick lumbered over to his kitchen, taking in a wide yawn and setting up his coffee brewer. _One of these days I'll need to set this thing up to start brewing automatically so that I don't have to set it up myself._ Well, one day. Maybe. Once the coffee was pouring, he walked towards his bathroom, grabbing his uniform on the way. He'd given Judy a copy of his apartment key, and once or twice she'd simply walked in on him wearing nothing but a towel on his way out of the shower and to his uniform in the living room.

She'd since started knocking, but he still got in the habit of taking his uniform with him, just in case she forgot. Which, knowing her, might happen one or twice.

While Nick was in the shower, simply letting the warm water wash over him for the moment, he pressed a paw to the tiled wall. The steam and the heat around him clouded his mind a little bit, to the point where all he could think about was _her,_ just like before. It started happening more and more often as time went on. It wasn't every waking moment, yet; It helped that he was near her _nearly_ every waking moment as it was. Luckily, he normally had a case, or paperwork, or other kind of distraction keeping him from thinking about Judy.

Her unrelenting optimism. Her determination. Her eyes. Her smile. Her laugh. Her paws. Her hips. Her tai-

Nick flinched as he heard a knock on his door, eyes wide as his head lifted, though that only meant that he got hot water directly in his eyes. Luckily, it wasn't soap. Again. "Who is it?" he called, pushing his muzzle out from behind the curtain of his shower.

"It's me, Nick!" called back a voice. _Her_ voice. She must have just stepped in after knocking. Well, at least he wasn't outside of the bathroom this time.

"Hey, Carrots, I'm in the shower, give me..." Nick looked up at a wall clock. While the glass dome covering the face was fogged, he could see that it was half-past six. "Damn," he muttered. He'd been wasting time thinking about her again, and she was earlier than usual. Normally she came in at a quarter to seven and they'd have time to hang out with coffee and breakfast before walking to work. "...Ten minutes!"

"No problem, Nick!"

Nick sighed, going back to his shower to actually clean himself properly. Although, now that he was able to focus a bit more, he realized something that made him decide to turn the cold water on.

Once he finished cleaning, he used his full-body fur blower, then brushed his teeth and fur, getting out knots, tangles and the remnants of the shedding he'd been going through as summer had begun. Soon, his tail was bushy and his eyes were... Okay, they weren't _bright,_ but he didn't look like death warmed over, at least. He pulled on his uniform, the shirt mostly unbuttoned and the tie in his teeth as he stepped out of the bathroom, pushing the door open with one foot. "Sorry about making you wait, Carrots, but you know me." He pulled on his grin like a mask and looking down at his chest as he buttoned up his shirt, tossing his tie over one shoulder. "It takes time for me to look this good."

"Why are you putting on your uniform?" Nick froze, clutching a button between two claws and finally looking up. Judy was standing there, paws on her hips and her head tilted slightly to one side. One of her black-tipped ears drooped slightly and her violet eyes were fixed on him. She was in casual clothes, though once he looked carefully enough, he saw the bulge of her badge in one of the pockets of her tight yoga pants, as well as her iPawd clipped to her waistband.

"...Why aren't you in yours?" he retorted, still completely frozen as the rabbit cocked her hip to one side, one eyebrow raised.

"...Did you forget, Nick?" she asked. The fox blinked, looking to his right, then his left, trying to recall whatever it was he was trying to remember.

"Uh." She was getting better by the day at rendering him absolutely speechless. In his defense, he was not a morning mammal. "Well, no, of course not." He made a strong attempt to recover, pulling on his grin again. "I've just gotten so used to putting on my uniform and it..." Her eyes were boring holes into him and his excuses. "...Muscle memory, y'know, it... It's fine." Nick trailed off and he looked away, starting to slowly unbutton his shirt. "I'll just... Get my casuals." As he started to walk towards his bedroom, he felt a tiny, but extremely soft paw clutch his forearm, and he paused, looking down.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Judy's voice was soft, understanding, empathetic. Her other paw came up, resting on his shoulder to try and turn him around to face her. His body moved easily, not that he'd be able to put up much resistance if he'd tried. Not to mention she was damn strong in spite of her size.

"...Yeah," he admitted after several seconds, and his shoulders sagged. Suddenly, the perhaps three hours of total sleep last night was catching up to him. "Don't worry about it, Carrots, they happen. You know that. It's not as bad as it was when I was a kit. They don't happen every night like they used to." He decided not to tell her that these new nightmares had been getting steadily more frequent, and they usually happened shortly after they completed their cases. She'd learn eventually, but right now he didn't want her to worry about him.

He wasn't looking at her face, but at the iPawd on her hip. According to the display, she'd been listening to Kanine West's Heartless, though it was paused at the moment and her earbuds were hanging silently from the collar of her shirt. "Okay. But you know-"

"-I can talk to you about it any time, I know." Nick smiled appreciatively, and Judy smiled back, reaching up to pat his cheek and lift his chin so that they looked each other in the eye. "Believe me, Carrots, I appreciate it. I really do."

The grey rabbit nodded, her paws falling again, though she pulled him into a hug. Something that Nick had noticed was that Judy was almost always the one to initiate contact, be it a hug, or a pat to the knee, head or snout, or a playful punch to his arm.

He was still sporting bruises along both biceps.

Nick wrapped his longer arms around her. It had become less awkward as he got used to it; The hugs had started lasting longer, especially outside of the public eye, like now, and he gave the rabbit a squeeze. "If you need to go back to sleep," said Judy into his chest, "I can just go on a run and come back later."

"Nah, I've already taken a shower; I'll just get casuals on and drink my _entire_ pot of coffee," Nick responded, and Judy giggled lightly, pulling away. He was tempted to hold her fast to his chest and not let her go, but he stepped back a little as well. Her paws had slid down his arms, clutching his fingers against her palms. When she still fixed him with a worried look, he lifted a paw to ruffle her scalp between her ears, which made her let out a soft squeak. "Seriously, Judy, I'll be fine."

Relenting at the use of her real name, Judy released the fox and nodded. "Alright, I'll be out here when you're ready."

Five minutes later, Nick stepped out of his bedroom, making a bee-line towards the smell of coffee. Judy was taking it upon herself to add in some blueberry flavoring for him, as well as a single pack of sugar and no cream. Strong enough to kick your teeth in, but with just enough sweetness that it balanced out.

Just like her.

"Thanks, Carrots," he said gratefully, taking a long drag of the liquid before letting out a low, heavy sigh. Elixir of the gods. Stepping back, he leaned against the island and looked to his partner, who was chewing on a carrot for her breakfast. "So, what _are_ we doing today?" asked Nick. When she paused in her chewing and looked over with another wry smile, he rolled his eyes. _"Yes,_ Carrots, I forgot that we weren't working today. Cut me some slack, I'm running on three hours of sleep and not _nearly_ enough coffee." He'd said it jokingly, reaching out to give her a light shove, which she returned with a forced laugh, though clearly her heart wasn't in it.

"It probably doesn't help that I had texted you at nine o'clock and you were probably on the way to bed," she conceded, face lined with guilt. Nick shook his head, coffee cup to his lips again. "It's nothing huge: I just wanted to go on a run with you on our day off, is all. Maybe have lunch later on."

"Heh... I think got enough exercise at the Academy, Fluff," he said, the muscles along his arms flexing slightly. Was he imagining it, or did Judy's eyes linger on him a little more than usual when he did that?

Well, he didn't blame her; He was probably in the best shape of his life at thirty-three, thanks in no small part to the Police Academy, working at the ZPD, and Judy herself being a great motivator in getting him going at seven o'clock in the damn morning. It had to be a crime _somewhere_ to be _that_ cheerful, _this_ early. As she laughed, taking a final bite of her carrot, she twitched her head towards the door.

"Come on, Slick, finish your coffee. I'll race you to the park."

\- - -

"And Judy Hopps is the winner!" yelled the rabbit, bouncing up and down after slapping both paws on a tree in the middle of the park. Nick caught up a moment later, his chest heaving as he bent forward, paws resting on his knees. While his stamina had gotten much better over the course of the past year, it was still far surpassed by the rabbit bounding up to hang off his neck with one arm. "Don't worry, Nick, there's no shame in second place."

"Second place to _you?_ No. No, there isn't." Nick smirked, playfully giving her a push, which only made her grasp his paw and continue hopping in place. "You should only get worried if I get second place to Flash." Judy laughed, letting him go as she turned to look at the sun rising above the nearby skyscrapers. Nick pulled his sunglasses from the collar of his shirt, flipped them open, and placed them on his muzzle. "...I can't believe I forgot that we were off today," he said, turning to Judy, who sobered a little but was still smiling kindly.

"You've had a lot on your mind," she said, reaching out to pat his shoulder. There she went, initiating contact again. Not that he _minded,_ but was still something he had to get a bit more used to. It probably didn't help that, if her family was as large as she'd said it was, she'd probably gotten her extroverted personality nurtured into her. Unlike him. Life had squeezed almost every bit of optimism out of him, but ever since he met her, he started seeing more light by the day, even if it did hurt his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Nick must have let something show in his face. "Oh, yeah, nah, I'm fine." He reached up, coughing and adjusting his aviators. "Was just... Thinking about things. It's nothing." He saw her ear twitching out of the corner of his eye. It had taken him a while, but he realized that when she did this, her ear twitched in time with his heartbeat. What a time to have a living lie detector for a partner. He let out a sigh and lifted his shades to look Judy in the eye. "Okay, fine, it _not_ nothing, but it's... Not important, and not something I feel like talking about, right now. Okay, Carrots?" How could he tell her how he feels?

Judy bit her lip in a way that exposed her adorably bucked teeth, and her nose twitched a little bit. "Alright. But you'll tell me as soon as it is important, right?" she asked firmly, and Nick nodded. That wasn't the end of the conversation, but it was on hold for now. "In the meantime..." Nick's ears twitched and he looked back at her as the area around them got steadily brighter. "I was doing some thinking and research lately." Judy casually stepped onto the nearby path, the pair of them walking together. Nick's paws were in his pockets, and Judy's arms were crossed.

"...Research?" he asked, brow furrowing behind his shades. "On what?"

"...Your basement apartment is a dump, Nick."

"Well, yeah, it is," he agreed, rolling his eyes. "We've established this."

"Well, I was thinking of doing something about that."

Nick laughed, leaning over so that he was eye-level with the bunny. "What, Carrots, you're gonna hire some contractors or something? That'll raise the property value of the dump, you know."

"There's an apartment building not far from Precinct One," continued the bunny. "It's got two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room. Small, but it's not a basement, and it's bigger than the closet I live in." Nick blinked behind his shades, his steps faltering. Judy came to a stop on a bridge and turned to look at him. The bridge was raised slightly, so they were a bit more eye-level as he stayed on the path. "It's predator-friendly, the walls are thick, and it's thirty minutes to work on-foot."

"...What's the catch?" asked the former conman, lifting a paw to pull down his sunglasses. Judy looked away, the insides of her ears flushing a hot pink. "Carrots, I seriously doubt I can afford it. I mean, I'm still sorting out my taxes, and I can barely afford the dump I live in now and have enough for groceries and other bills."

"No, you probably can't," admitted Judy. Nick's ears began to droop, but as he made to lift his shades, Judy spoke again. "Not alone, anyway." The fox twitched, inadvertently poking himself in the eye.

"Ow!" As he rubbed his face, he lifted his empty hand to stop Judy from rushing up to him. "It's fine, I'm fine. Geez, if I had a dollar for every time I poked myself in the eye..." He shook his head, fixing her with a currently one-eyed gaze. "What did you mean, 'not alone'?" Judy's paws lifted, her fingers rubbing against each other, and her nose began to twitch. Nick noticed she often did this when she was nervous. "...Carrots?" The fox stepped forward slowly. "Are you... Suggesting that we move in together?"

"I mean, it makes sense, right?" asked Judy, lifting her paws to count off on her fingers. "We travel to work together, eat meals together, go on patrol together, solve cases together. Why not cut out the middle mammal? I did the math - and don't make a 'multiplying' joke, this is _division_ \- and between the two of us, rent would only be a little bit more than the dumps we both live in." Nick was silent for several moments, eyes fixed on the smaller rabbit in front of him. His arms had gone slack, the shades in one paw almost falling to the ground. He didn't even have a witty remark about multiplication. In the silence, Judy's ears steadily drooped more and more, and she started to turn away. "If... If you don't want to, that's alright. It was a stupid-"

"No, Judy, I just-" Judy looked up, and Nick scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, yeah. Logically? You have a point. Closer to the precinct means less travel time. Being in the same space means neither of us has to get up nearly as early. You don't have to go across half of the district to walk with me, and we won't have to take the train."

"...But?"

Nick laughed. He was rubbing off on her, which might not have been a particularly good thing in the long run. "...I have concerns. What will the neighbors think? What'll the rest of the precinct think? What will _Bogo_ think?" He looked at her pointedly, although judging by the complete confusion on her face, it seemed that he needed to spell it out. Nick took a deep breath. "Aren't there rules on fraternization, Carrots?" Judy's ears twitched, then perked straight up, then fell limply against her back. "If they think we're dating..."

"...Why should that matter?" asked Judy softly, paws grasping her elbows as she moved to the guardrail of the bridge. Nick blinked. That... Wasn't what he was expecting her to say, although _something_ began to flutter in his chest. "We're two grown adult mammals, Nick, why should they care? I just..." Judy lowered her face into her arms. "...I just wanted to help."

"I know, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful-"

"Then move in with me!" snapped the bunny suddenly, rounding on Nick. He flinched, eyes wide as Judy's left foot stomped on the stone bridge. It was a wonder a crack wasn't forming. "You said it yourself; it makes sense logically. I don't care what other mammals might think. It gets you out of the dump with leaky pipes and faulty wiring, and it gets me out of the closet with greasy walls and neighbors who can't shut up!"

Nick's pulse was pounding in his ears. During his time in the academy, he attended a presentation on subduing large criminals, and a video clip of Judy using her powerful bunny legs to kick her rhino sparring partner's gloved fist into his own face had been shown. If he wasn't scared of Judy before he saw it, he certainly was afterwards. In the wake of this bunny that was a head shorter, not counting her ears, and about half of his overall weight, he was absolutely terrified.

"But... What about your career, Judy?" he asked softly. That question quelled the rabbit almost immediately, her violet eyes blinking as she began to calm down. "I don't... I don't want you fired because of me. I mean, that already happened once."

"I wasn't fired, Nick, I quit. Because of what I had done to _you."_

"I'm not worth-"

"Yes, you are." Nick's muzzle clamped shut once again. Judy, though she was calm, strode forward, reaching up to grab the front of Nick's shirt to pull him eye-level with her. "You _are_ worth it. And I'm not going to hear any more excuses from you. Who cares if they think we're dating? As long as it doesn't interfere with our work, no one will care."

Nick opened his mouth, then he closed it. He looked away, trying to find some way out of this. It was too much of a risk, but... Wait, what did she say? "...As long as... _What_ doesn't interfere with our work?"

"If we're living together," answered Judy, brow furrowed in confusion, but Nick's signature smirk returned, and he turned to look her in the eye. "What else could I have-" Her grip on his shirt loosened, and she began to blush furiously. "I didn't mean to say it like that, Nick!"

"Didn't mean to accidentally ask me out?" he asked, one eyebrow lifting as he continued to smirk at her. Inwardly, he was elated. Maybe he _could_ tell her how he felt. Maybe _she_ felt the same way. Maybe...

"...I wanted to wait," she said meekly, turning to look away as she rubbed her fingers again, paws curled near her chin. "I... Wanted to see how well we..."

"How well we handled being under the same roof?" he suggested. Judy swallowed, and nodded. It suddenly hit Nick that Judy was almost a decade younger than him. "You... You want to...?"

Judy swallowed again, then looked up at Nick with a nod. "I do want to. You..." The bunny waved her paws between them, trying to articulate what she wanted to say. Nick decided to throw her a metaphorical bone.

"I know, Carrots, I'm amazing in every way." Judy blinked up at him, bemused. He strode forward, and this time, he initiated contact, pulling her head into his chest as he rested one paw on her scalp, just like he'd done almost a year ago. Though, in this case, they were on the bridge, rather than under it. "You're amazing, too, Judy. In every way I'm not."

Judy's shoulders shook slightly, and Nick thought for a moment he'd gone a little too far, but as she pressed a paw to his chest so that she could look up, she was smiling. "So... You'll move in with me?"

"I snore," he said, smirking. Judy smirked right back.

"I'll get earplugs."

"I sleepwalk sometimes."

"I'll buy more pillows so you'll fall on something soft."

"I sing in the shower."

"I know, we did a duet once when I was on the other side of the door."

"Heh, yeah, we did."

For several moments, then stayed in one place, but soon they began to walk down the path, Judy's paw clutching Nick's. As he placed his shades back on his muzzle, he opened his mouth, then closed it. His paw gave hers a small squeeze, and he sighed. "What is it, Nick?" Judy asked. He glanced to her, swallowed, and decided to tell her.

"...My nightmares have been getting worse, Carrots."

"...Then you have my permission to come into my room when you need me."

"I'll hog the blankets."

"I've played tug-of-war with up to fifty of my siblings and won."

"I drool in my sleep."

"So did those fifty siblings."

"I'm lazy."

"I'm slowly breaking that habit for you already."

"...You'll get tired of me."

Judy stopped, reaching out with her other paw to place on his cheek, then slid his sunglasses up to his forehead. "Will I?" She smiled, pulling him down by the shirt again. "No. No, I won't." The bunny bumped her pink nose against his. Nick's ears fell against his head contentedly, and he returned the gesture, though he lifted his chin, and his lips brushed against her nose instead. Judy blinked, and they both froze for just a moment, green eyes gazing into violet, and Judy bit her lip, head twitching in his direction, but she hesitated. For a long while, they both did.

It was Nick who initiated contact again. Their lips touched, their eyes closed, and though it was chaste, it felt absolutely electric to Nick. As he leaned back, Judy was leaning towards him, her heels lifting as if she were about to float after the fox lips-first, but he caught her before she fell flat on her face. Once she was upright again, she coughed, looking around to make sure no one was around.

Since it was so early, there were only one or two mammals in the immediate area, but none of them were looking in their direction, as far as Nick could tell. "What was that about not caring what mammals think, Carrots?" asked Nick, and Judy batted at him with her paws. Her ears were practically on fire, and Nick could only laugh, rubbing between her ears. She relaxed, and after another moment or so, the pair began to walk again. They weren't holding paws, but they stood closer than they had before; Nick's gait longer and more relaxed, Judy's shorter and more energetic, but neither were walking ahead or behind the other.

"...Any more excuses?" asked Judy, smiling over to the fox, who let out a laugh.

Nick lifted his shades and turned to Judy. "Nah, but I do have a question." His paws went into his pockets as they walked, his eyes lazily moving over the landscape. "...When do we move in?"


End file.
